In an earlier post, I talked about how the principles on which we base our life philosophy are what enable us to devise strategies for facing or resolving life’s challenges. I also wrote that you (yes, you!) almost certainly do have a life philosophy, even if, up till now, you hadn’t realised it, or had never got round to actually articulating it.
Sometimes, however, when confronting a dilemma, we may have difficulty in locating the principle that might be the clue to addressing that dilemma. My own belief is that each of us has inner wisdom. But I also believe that the search for our own inner wisdom is often helped along the way by reflecting for a while on that of others.
Both in living my own life and in helping others with difficulties in theirs, I have accumulated a string of ‘pearls of wisdom’ which have progressively shaped my own life philosophy. They also function as one of the cornerstones of my approach to counselling and mentoring.
I hope that my offering you some of these pearls might inspire you in accessing your own wisdom and finding solutions for your own dilemmas.
If, however, you are struggling with a dilemma for which a solution still remains elusive and you feel it would be useful to talk the issue through with an objective listener, please message me.
Words:
Often, the less said the better.
An argument is almost always an attempt by each party to force the other to their viewpoint.
Leave an argument while you can.
Much better, leave before it even starts.
Often, too much talk can turn an abstract issue into a concrete problem.
Some things are best left unsaid.
Many things are best left unsaid.
Once you’ve said something, you can’t unsay it.
Action:
Keep things simple.
If you behave like a lady (or a gentleman!), you will always have the moral high-ground.
There’s time to do anything you want to do. But it’s always at the expense of doing something else.
Choose your battles carefully.
Choose only those battles that offer a good chance of being won.
Every journey begins with a single step.
Strategy
Sleep on it before making a decision.
The clutter around you reflects the clutter in your head. Keep things tidy.
Don’t offer an opinion unless you’re asked for one.
Never enforce your opinion on anyone, even if you were asked for it.
If you force a decision on someone, you will find yourself getting the blame if things go wrong.
Let others make their own decisions.
Within each person is the solution to his or her own problem.
When dealing with bureaucracy, never volunteer information. Offer only what you’re asked for. (Otherwise, believe me, you’ll shoot yourself in the foot.) If they want more, they’ll ask for it.
Perspective:
In a year from now, will it matter?
Let’s step back and look at the bigger picture.
In the big scheme of things, it probably won’t matter.
A crisis is like a stone being dropped into a bucket of water. Today we are churning in the whirlpool at the centre. Tomorrow, in the ripples, we will be in quieter waters.
Put yesterday aside. Let’s think about where we are now and where to go to from here.
Emotion and instinct:
Anger consumes energy. There is, if you think about it, probably a better use for that energy.
Trust your gut.
Things often look different the next day.
Humanity:
Within every person (even the most unexpected of them) is wisdom.
Within every person (even the most bitter) is a flicker of tenderness.
Everything becomes history eventually.
Even we become history eventually.
Some people are energy sappers. Avoid them if you can.
